“ – He’ll never love yah like I could!” Deaglan snapped, more or less it was out of anger as he peered in the other’s direction. “You’re just gonna make another mistake again, thinking, hoping, praying that one day it’ll snap in his mind that he’ll love you. He’ll never ever love you. And one day you’re gonna make up and realize that there was one guy that actually gave a fuck; But you didn’t give him a chance because he looks like that guy that you fell in love with a long time ago. – You think you’re better than everyone else? You’re just a man stuck on a dream that’s never gonna come true. And I hope it burries you one day,” Deaglan rolled his glowing purple eyes and he strode off, leaving the conversation there.
Seth watched as Deaglan walked away, his lower lip being bitten furiously as his heart broke for the man. He knew that Deag was right in every way possible with what he had said, but Seth hadn’t wanted to admit it and he sure as hell hadn’t wanted to give up – even if he did have a great man in front of him. Or, had. With a sigh, Seth ran his fingers through his hair and turned away,, not able to watch as the best thing he didn’t know he had walked away.
Deaglan felt his heart break into a million pieces. His breathing was labored for only a split second. He didn’t want to hear that, he didn’t want to hear that he would never be good enough, that he would never be able to find a place in his heart, like Roman had. “But I fell for you,” He said weakly. The solider never cried, never in his four thousand years of being alive. But for the first time, ever, tears started to form in his eyes. If this is love, I do not want it …. Take it away, please.
He couldn’t help but cringe back as he watched the other man try and hold his breathing in front of him. He knew, of course, that he had broken Deaglan’s heart, but surely it was better this way, where he couldn’t hurt him worse further down the line? Upon noticing how the soldier was looking, Seth cringed back, feeling truly uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” He whispers before turning away.
"Let me tell you some truth here Seth, and yes, I do mean for this to hurt. So if you punch me in the face afterwards, I couldn’t give any less of a fuck what happens to you next,“ The Irishman started. “He left you, he left you for someone he deemed better than you, and I get it, you’re afraid of what I could do. But I’ve got no where to run. But if you keep hiding in your corner, cowering, and the only thing that stops you is the fact that my face looks just like his? That’s pathetic and low, and most of the things I’ve seen you do were low anyways. But this is worse.”
“I am not afraid of what you could, Deag. I’m afraid that one day, I’ll accidentally fall out of love with him for you. I’m afraid that if I do do that, my mind will confuse me and I’ll think you are him. And god fucking damn it, you deserve so much better than me, so much better than someone who gets confused so damn easily!” He shouts, fists clenched at his side as he turns his head away from the man staring into the depths of his soul. “Me, not being with you, because your face looks like his isn’t the reason. It’s because you deserve better, always.”
Deaglan let out a weak sigh, a hurt expression on his face. This is exactly what he wanted the other to deny. But he didn’t. He felt his heart break. “So my feelings, don’t mean a damn thing to you then?” He asked, a hurt and even destroyed expression on his face.
He felt uncomfortable at the emotion he saw on the other man’s face, unsure of how to proceed with this conversation. “I’m sorry, Deag,” He whispers, putting his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Of course your feelings matter. I just don’t know how I feel.”
"Is that why you can’t love me ….? Because I look just like him?“ Deaglan asked weakly. “Is that why?”
He didn’t know what to say, how to answer that. Hell, he didn’t even know how to feel about it, and if he didn’t know the answer himself, how could he tell Deaglan? “I, uh –” He begins, before shrugging, looking down sadly.
